“Mindfulness is the remembering that helps us pause and recognize what is happening in the present moment”. - Tara Brach
Mindfulness has been the buzz word in schools for some time now. But we struggle to fully understand what it means. The thing is – mindfulness is not something we do for five minutes every day. If we are choosing mindfulness, we are choosing daily practice and awareness throughout the day.
Mindfulness practice is how we speak, how we think, how we live our lives. It's about continuously checking in with ourselves. Knowing we're never going to get it perfect. When awareness is the goal, our world opens. Stress dissolves. We gain hope and integrity. We let go of outdated modes of thinking. In short – why would we not choose to enter into daily mindfulness practices?
According to leading mindfulness teacher Jon Kabat-Zinn – "Mindfulness is awareness, cultivated by paying attention in a sustained and particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgementally. It is one of many forms of meditation, if you think of meditation as any way in which we engage in (1) systematically regulating our attention and energy (2) thereby influencing and possibly transforming the quality of our experience (3) in the service of realizing the full range of our humanity and of (4) our relationships to others and the world."
When we tend and befriend the autonomic nervous system – our lives begin to truly change.
In her ground breaking book "Anchored" Deb Dana writes:
"With an understanding of the ways our autonomic nervous systems work and the beginning ability to befriend them, we turn our attention to gently shaping our systems in new ways. The autonomic nervous system guides us as we move through the world. Without awareness, our patterns simply work in the background. Even when our patterns are regulating and bring well-being, if we don't turn toward them and actively engage with them, we don't benefit in the deepest way possible. With attention and intention, we shape our system in ways that resource the pathways that nourish our well-being."
We talk a lot about self-regulation with children. But the truth of it is – we are learning self regulation our whole lives. Starting as a child, we are taught what is safe and what is not. How to speak to others (and ourselves) in kind ways, that nurture and build positive relationships.
Mindfulness practices help everyone – the tall and the small – to regulate our nervous systems and release those feel good hormones. Without that, we are left craving dopamine from unhealthy sources like gaming, sugary foods, and a host of other addictive habits.
With mindfulness, we become self aware. And through self awareness, we learn to be less reactive and distraught, more productive, positive, and kind.
Practice creates the space for increased curiosity, attentiveness and an enhanced ability to build strong relationships with ourselves, those closest to us, and our community.